I take back every hurtful thing I ever said about you

After 3 weeks of cancellations and postponing it finally happened, we got to sit down and have that talk I really wanted, he actually made time to see me and talk to me but this was after much persuasion by my aunt who had done everything in her power to make sure two of us had a better relationship.
Now I can’t say at some point on my way there I wanted to cancel and say I can’t make it or just say I don’t want to see him anymore but my friends did talk me out of it and my aunt did a lot to make this day happen and words can’t describe how happy I am that I didn’t cancel because just seeing him brought some pressure of me in some weird way and then once we started talking (even though my aunt did most of the talking) I felt a wave of fresh air go through me, like I felt so relaxed and refreshed.
Sometimes I wish you took a timeout just to understand me and my thought process but you never did and that’s why our relationship is like this, was the first thing I uttered and he replied but did you ever call me to tell me how you felt or did you ever speak up on how you felt? And I answered, ‘No I didn’t’. That moment I realized where things went wrong and the role I played in that and I realized that this man actually would have listened if all I did was talk but instead I kept it in all and had much anger and hatred towards him for absolutely no reason.
The funny thing was the fact that during the time he was talking I listened to his words carefully and I saw his expressions and attitude and I saw my 60 yr old self because I realized how much similarities we had. I was my father’s copy attitude and demeanor wise but I obviously got my lovely looks from my mother. I was filled with sadness for a while because all this while I was so angry with someone who was trying to reach out to me as much as I was but due to both of our arrogance and pride we both couldn’t get through to each other, but now that’s all in the past.
I’ve decided not to dwell on the past and move forward, begin a whole new chapter in our relationship. I swear it was better than any other therapy session I ever had, I’m excited to say the least.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s