My Current MindFrame : Nothing Makes Sense

I received an email from an old friend today, it was about how much he missed our friendship and to let me know he was proud of all the good work I was doing. When I read this I thought to myself, what? What good work? What should I keep up? I don’t know if I’m crazy or something is wrong with me but i don’t think I’m doing that great, actually I ain’t doing anything. I know what I am capable of and I know how much I could be doing alot better but I’m not living to my full potential.
My biggest problem is I am my own biggest critic so its hard for me to be satisfied with anything I do, I know this is hard for me to admit but another problem I deal with is also the fact that I yearn for approval from people I look up to, its like I need some kind of verification to be satisfied and that alone bothers me alot. Like why do I need someone else to tell me I’m doing great for me to think I am. Another one of my problems is my fear of loneliness, like its a huge problem for me and it is one of the reasons I haven’t been living to my full potential. It’s really hard to do anything when you have no one there and this is how I feel most of the time, I feel very alone and very misguided. Loneliness leads to sadness and sadness leads to depression. Depression is a bitch and it basically takes over you, it makes it hard for you to do anything, like no matter what you’re doing you just feel very unhappy and disgruntled. As this is my current state.

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