You’re missed!!

One of them is to just say that I am lost without your presence
Because every day goes by in a blur
As if life’s been covered by a thick frost
The other way to show you the state of my heart
Is to say that I feel like man who can’t dream
Memories and thoughts seem to just fly past

Even my soul is lifeless, without its gleam
In this hazy state, I have been
Since the day I let you walk away
I know I treated you in a way I shouldn’t have
I was wrong, I confess today that
I miss you

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She was only 5′ foot somethin’ yet she intimidated me like a giant,

Her zaftig shape left me drooling,
I couldn’t let her walk away without saying a word, so I walk up and start up a conversation.

Her voice was so blissful, and soothing,
I could argue with you that it has magical powers,
Her smile was so precious, and your presence was overwhelmingly gracious.

As I sparked up a conversation I couldn’t but notice her beautiful big eyes, they pierced through my soul and made me smile hard.
My heart skipped a beat with every word she uttered.

I spoke to her in most pleasant and melancholy tone, simply because her voice played a new sound in my ear. Her lips looks so soft and I immediately wanted a kiss.

We spoke for a bit and she told me she sang,
I wasn’t surprised because I was sure she was an angel in disguise. A woman like her is impossible to come by, a woman like her you never forget.

When I met her, I felt like I had discovered a new song and it would be something I won’t mind jamming too for a long time. And in that moment I know I had met a queen, that moment my eyes opened again.

Thank You For Nothing

I have tried overcoming the heartache you brought on me,

I have tried to get my confidence back and also rebuild my self-esteem,

I’ve always seen my person as a great person but after meeting you and dealing with you I question if I am good enough,

I never understood why you were so terrible towards me or why nothing I did was ever good enough or why you would constantly complain about my actions.

Unlike most stories, this started in the worst of ways, you were for someone else, and somehow I was cool with being the guy on the side, eventually I fought to win you over and in a way I guess you magically became mine and it worked out to our favor and It all started as a fairytale.

I never for once thought you’d to me what you did to him, but isn’t Karma a bitch ; isn’t that how life works.

You fuck people over and get fucked over, but none of this occurred to me because I was in awe of your perfection,

You were everything I was looking for,

The perfect young lady to come in and ruin my life, but you walked right in and did just that.

You appeared to be the best thing that ever happened to me at first but slowly the true you was unveiled but I still ignored all of those signals, I’m sorry became just another word to ease our conversations and the ingenuity of you saying I love you was never to be questioned.

I think about the guy who just seemed to be randomly hanging on his couch but you apparently just saying hi at his place, but stupidly this was another signal I ignored.

I let us continue even after all the wrong, I let go of everyone else and in you, I put my all, I found myself making changes to suit you; just so you could be happy. I found myself doing everything just to make you mine but to no avail nothing I did was good enough for you and you could never appreciate anything I did.

I love how when you wanted to end this, you just started ignoring me and never was mature enough to give me a reason, but I thank you for that because now I know I deserve better than a cheat, and a liar . This guy is also glad you realized you wasted your time.

Due to our situation I’ve changed into someone, I am not,
I was always so warm but now I have become colder than ever, I was never an angry person but now with the mention of your name or just when I see you I am filled with rage .

I am so far from who I once was.
I am now weak and no longer bold,
I am angry, I am tired. I am a very emotionally exhausted.

You’ve played enough mind games
To make me feel no good. You played mind games just so you could have your way

Everyone saw a smile, But no one knew what was truly behind, you good at covering how deceitful and how much of a liar you are.
Pain, heartache, and despair is all now felt .

Maybe one day I’ll be able to escape, I hope I move on and find someone greater,

I hope I can start over somewhere new,

But I’ll never forget the impact you had on me.

Now because of you, I’ll forever believe love is chimerical .

The DM

Laying down bored, scrolling on the gram, she popped up on that feed in a lovely dress, filling up every inch of that dress, and a smile filling every inch of my heart because it simply lit me up. 
As I scrolled through her pictures I saw a smile big enough heal a hurt, the more I looked the more I wanted all of what she’s got. 

And her melanin is so radiant; It shall remain a sexy dark chocolate throughout all the seasons. 

Your chocolate skin glistens once you waltz inside a room. Your chocolate skin is magnificent, it’s amazing to think God has blessed you with such melanin.

She probably about 5’10 and weighs and 100 and something, I kept calculating how much space she’ll take up if she was lying my bed next to I. 
She filled my mind with thoughts of wifing and taking her home this even before I said a word.

I dropped several DM’s eventually she answered, now we texting and I can see she’s so busy she ain’t got no time for nobody. Or maybe I just lack the proper words to enthuse her mind and maybe I just like all the other guys in her cell.
It hurts to think that I couldn’t pick the words, to sway you my way, it sucks that I’ve never gotten to have a regular conversation with you to break all those guards down and see behind all that confidence is some heavy flaws that make you into the strong queen you are.

Admit It, It’s all about the way your penis feels!!

Do you actually like her? Or you like the way she makes your penis feel?Do you actually care about her well being or you only care about if she’s well with you?
Just waste her time and fill her with bogus stories, tell her what she wants to hear and fill her head with fake promises. Treat her like princess but within your heart she’s just another one in a long line women will Serve under him.
Make her feel like she’s the only one, so whenever she does something wrong you play the victim and leave her with a heart filled with guilt and let her apologize. 

After you’ve done this you get a sense you’re now in control and become a manipulative genius. You constantly mislead and make her feel you can’t do anything wrong, now that you have her heart make like she’s not good enough and will never be good for anyone else but you.
Her self-esteem is now low and she’s addicted to your lies and your bullshit and doesn’t realize you’re a no good, lying pathetic loser, but that’s perfectly fine because you’re already on to the next female doing the same exact routine but unfortunately you met your match and she won’t fall your lies and your deceit, your games and manipulative ways. So you take your anger and frustration out of the princess who thinks you’re the best person ever; she’s angry and panicking, thinking what have I done wrong how can I please my ‘prince’, she runs to friends for help and while you run from bed to bed in search of something that is none existent. 
Until one day you end it all. You let her know the truth, you apologize to her but it’s too late because you’ve created another broken woman, another angry woman, you’ve created another stereotypical angry black woman. You’ve helped this Queen loose her crown, but soon she’ll be back while you keep ruining more lives only failing to realize you’re ruining yours. 

You are only making yourself into a damage boy who will never get a basic understanding of an emotional connection, or the joys of having someone who your Soul is tied to. 

I sit here quietly and watch the sun set, thinking of someone that I’ve never met.

I wonder does she think of me too, Its rather strange but I get constant thoughts of her.
I long to hold her and to put her smile on her face, I want to simply take away all her pain, to a better place is where I desire to take her, 

She feels so right, almost to good to be true, She carries herself with so much plight, a sight to behold,  

I just can’t stop thinking of you.

My head toys with me when I say I’m crushing on you because my heart is longing for a girl I’ve not met

I say there is nothing I can do, I cannot help thinking of you

I believe we were made to help heal each other , but wonder if that could possibly be.

I’m tired of being so alone and blue

But I always smile when thinking of you.

Wishing we never met..

Sitting here late at night,

Looking at this burning cigarette, as I think of everything I regret, starring at her face, wishing we never met,

What exactly have I done? Why did I ever get myself involved in the first place ? How did the manage to get this frozen heart to melt?

Now, I’m questioning myself like why didn’t you know better? Or if you’ve known better why didn’t you do better?

At this moment I can’t even trust myself or my own judgement, I can’t even trust my own words. I keep falling in out of trust and trying to rekindle lust in the name of love. I keep trying to burn a fire that was never lit. All this while I kept thinking I was the one who was unfit, I kept thinking maybe I was the one at fault not realizing you were just trying to pass time, you were just trying to heal your last hurt and I happened to be the most ready victim.

Hey, I hope you’re happy now. You’ve torn me into pieces and spit me out like I was worth nothing.

I hope you get what you deserve, I hope life doesn’t hit you as hard .

To be continued

Happiness at last? So it may seem,

I can see myself smiling all over again,

I can see my heart beating regularly again,

Am I finally finding what I’ve been searching for many years now?

This day might just be a miracle in the making.

 

I woke up feeling rejuvenated,

I woke up with motivation to do everything and anything,

So I hop out of bed, and make breakfast, take a shower and set out for the day.

I can’t deny that even though, I feel very energized something at the back of my head was just waiting for everything to go wrong.

 

I tried so enjoy to hard to enjoy the moment, but my head kept feeling up with various thoughts of torment, unfortunately being sad had become my natural element,

It’s become so natural that whenever I experience something good from other people I question why they’ve given me such treatment.

Poems are stupid, Not!!!!!!

Sometimes I wonder how I feel about you,
Scared of these feelings because it’s still new
I catch myself thinking of the best way to share,
Hoping you’ll return my confession showing you care
And then I catch myself again… and drag my thoughts back to reality
I am back at square one, does this just happen to me?

Poems are so stupid I swear I would never do this
But this is YOU, and you aren’t like anyone I have met
How much longer do I have to write, can I tell you yet?
When I come back from my thoughts I feel more secure
But then I sleep… and the dreams of you occur

The dreams I have of you are so vivid and clear,
Dreams of you fighting with me against all odds stacked against me,
Dreams of you working with me to build a better me, honestly I can say
I feel TRUE happiness inside and that there is nothing to fear
People say dreams have underlying meanings and not to ignore them
I say we both know what they mean and now I want you to hear.

Just hear what I am about to say to you, feel it with my body, see it in my face,
Hear it in my words and tone when we converse, lay on my chest and feel my heartbeat to tune of your voice.

It can never be

I see you pass by And though I know 

It can never be 

My heart leaps. 
You talk to me 

And though I know 

You mean nothing 

My lips move, returning caressing words. 
My own selfish desire 

Is to hold you 

Until the world  

Comes to an end… 
But 
I see him 

Holding you 

Caressing with more than words. 
I see you 

Loving him. 
And though all I want 

Is your happiness 

My heart drops.