She was only 5′ foot somethin’ yet she intimidated me like a giant,

Her zaftig shape left me drooling,
I couldn’t let her walk away without saying a word, so I walk up and start up a conversation.

Her voice was so blissful, and soothing,
I could argue with you that it has magical powers,
Her smile was so precious, and your presence was overwhelmingly gracious.

As I sparked up a conversation I couldn’t but notice her beautiful big eyes, they pierced through my soul and made me smile hard.
My heart skipped a beat with every word she uttered.

I spoke to her in most pleasant and melancholy tone, simply because her voice played a new sound in my ear. Her lips looks so soft and I immediately wanted a kiss.

We spoke for a bit and she told me she sang,
I wasn’t surprised because I was sure she was an angel in disguise. A woman like her is impossible to come by, a woman like her you never forget.

When I met her, I felt like I had discovered a new song and it would be something I won’t mind jamming too for a long time. And in that moment I know I had met a queen, that moment my eyes opened again.

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The DM

Laying down bored, scrolling on the gram, she popped up on that feed in a lovely dress, filling up every inch of that dress, and a smile filling every inch of my heart because it simply lit me up. 
As I scrolled through her pictures I saw a smile big enough heal a hurt, the more I looked the more I wanted all of what she’s got. 

And her melanin is so radiant; It shall remain a sexy dark chocolate throughout all the seasons. 

Your chocolate skin glistens once you waltz inside a room. Your chocolate skin is magnificent, it’s amazing to think God has blessed you with such melanin.

She probably about 5’10 and weighs and 100 and something, I kept calculating how much space she’ll take up if she was lying my bed next to I. 
She filled my mind with thoughts of wifing and taking her home this even before I said a word.

I dropped several DM’s eventually she answered, now we texting and I can see she’s so busy she ain’t got no time for nobody. Or maybe I just lack the proper words to enthuse her mind and maybe I just like all the other guys in her cell.
It hurts to think that I couldn’t pick the words, to sway you my way, it sucks that I’ve never gotten to have a regular conversation with you to break all those guards down and see behind all that confidence is some heavy flaws that make you into the strong queen you are.

“Land Of The Free”

Slowly, we’re a all being wiped out,

We’re not wanted,

They want to see us rage,

They want to see us fight back, so they can have a reason to slaughter us.
This isn’t our country and they want us to know that,

They brought us here at their own will, why? 

Just to use us and that they’re done they just want to dispose us,

Everyday another of us is killed, Every hour another of us is thrown jailed and lost in the system so we can fail.
We can shout and protest, but nothing has changed,

We can fight back but they have more weapons than us, 

They argue we kill ourselves but who gives us the weapons,

All we want is equality and peace,

All we want is to be accepted,

All we want it to be free in the “Land of the Free”

Admit It, It’s all about the way your penis feels!!

Do you actually like her? Or you like the way she makes your penis feel?Do you actually care about her well being or you only care about if she’s well with you?
Just waste her time and fill her with bogus stories, tell her what she wants to hear and fill her head with fake promises. Treat her like princess but within your heart she’s just another one in a long line women will Serve under him.
Make her feel like she’s the only one, so whenever she does something wrong you play the victim and leave her with a heart filled with guilt and let her apologize. 

After you’ve done this you get a sense you’re now in control and become a manipulative genius. You constantly mislead and make her feel you can’t do anything wrong, now that you have her heart make like she’s not good enough and will never be good for anyone else but you.
Her self-esteem is now low and she’s addicted to your lies and your bullshit and doesn’t realize you’re a no good, lying pathetic loser, but that’s perfectly fine because you’re already on to the next female doing the same exact routine but unfortunately you met your match and she won’t fall your lies and your deceit, your games and manipulative ways. So you take your anger and frustration out of the princess who thinks you’re the best person ever; she’s angry and panicking, thinking what have I done wrong how can I please my ‘prince’, she runs to friends for help and while you run from bed to bed in search of something that is none existent. 
Until one day you end it all. You let her know the truth, you apologize to her but it’s too late because you’ve created another broken woman, another angry woman, you’ve created another stereotypical angry black woman. You’ve helped this Queen loose her crown, but soon she’ll be back while you keep ruining more lives only failing to realize you’re ruining yours. 

You are only making yourself into a damage boy who will never get a basic understanding of an emotional connection, or the joys of having someone who your Soul is tied to. 

I Wonder

Not all who wander are lost.

Yet still, I wonder

where am I headed to, I have no clue?

But I know where I am,
I’m stuck in the moment, fighting to find my way, but yet I’m still so lost,

Lost in my thoughts.

Thoughts which range from “what’s for dinner?” to “why am I here?”
Ranging from shallow minded ignorant young Blackman to Young Woken brother on a mission?

My mind is jumping from leap to leap.
Leaving me confused and wondering, Where am I and where are we going? 

Then I realize, maybe I’m just a wanderer after all. A soul built to go where ever, whenever my heart desires.

Wishing we never met..

Sitting here late at night,

Looking at this burning cigarette, as I think of everything I regret, starring at her face, wishing we never met,

What exactly have I done? Why did I ever get myself involved in the first place ? How did the manage to get this frozen heart to melt?

Now, I’m questioning myself like why didn’t you know better? Or if you’ve known better why didn’t you do better?

At this moment I can’t even trust myself or my own judgement, I can’t even trust my own words. I keep falling in out of trust and trying to rekindle lust in the name of love. I keep trying to burn a fire that was never lit. All this while I kept thinking I was the one who was unfit, I kept thinking maybe I was the one at fault not realizing you were just trying to pass time, you were just trying to heal your last hurt and I happened to be the most ready victim.

Hey, I hope you’re happy now. You’ve torn me into pieces and spit me out like I was worth nothing.

I hope you get what you deserve, I hope life doesn’t hit you as hard .

Lost in the world. 

I don’t think have been this down in a long time, like my meds aren’t working and all I want to do is just stay in bed and cry. Like its so hard coming to work or going around like I’m good but I can’t even do it anymore and all the drinking isn’t helping anymore. I feel so weak and tired. For a second there I thought I was doing much better. I felt a momentum change, my heart was filled with joy but all of a sudden now I’m down again, filled with rage.I’ve punched the wall several times today from anger, my heart is filled with despair. I just want to getaway from everything, I work all time but I don’t see anything from it. I feel like such a waste and an under achiever, I overload myself with work not to think but just get up and work takes so much away from me. I don’t know what is wrong. I’m a walking cry for help, I’m such a lost soul and misguided sheep. I’m so lost and misguided; I’m walking cry for help. I’m such a lost soul. 

The Let Down

It’s happening again I find myself breaking down, Drenched in tears and filled with rage and emotion but no one to talk,

I yell to the top of my voice because I don’t know what else to do,

Thoughts going back to old habits fill my brain,

What can I do to cure this pain?

My heart is aching, and my head is pounding, 

Ouch, I punched the feel to cure the rage but now I feel even more physical pain. 
I’m emotionally distraught, I’m mentally drained feeling like my world is derision. I could tell that I’ve fallen short of my expectations and feeling I haven’t done anything or won’t amount much. My confidence is all gone, and I know I’m lost at all odds.
I feel lost, I feel incomplete, 

How can this be, what has become of me? 

I find myself leaning on alcohol for self appreciation, 

No one around me knows because all they see is the show of a happy face I put on, 

When I look in the mirror, I see nothing but a sad soul filled with torment.

I am a season nearing autumn, I am a leaf who’s frayed by the wind,

I have had the worst of luck on life,

I dream of dreams that will never be felt, I am a failure, Constantly messing up.

Probably never going to succeed,      I feel Pointless to try anymore.    I’m over life as it is and find myself in this dark place,

I’ve always been totally incompetent and very miserable,

Time to exit the stage because nothing could be done

Time to quit.

Happy Mother’s Day 

Not a day goes by without a thought of you.Most of the time they are happy thoughts,

Thoughts of how great things were, 

Thoughts of how I was once a happy child with a bright future,

Eventually all those joyous thoughts go away, and I fade into darkness,

You really are gone, you’re not here anymore,

I feel so alone, whenever this thought hits me,

My bestfriend is gone, so now I drown in my thoughts,

Slowly trying to move on without you mother,
Every moment I wish you were here,

Your love was selfless, your heart was warming no matter what.

You made me feel like I belong ,

You made me feel like I could do anything,

You were my source of my motivation and all that is now dust,

Do I still matter?, Will I ever be something?
I can’t help but wonder if you’re still around,

Do you see me breakdown and cry?

Do you hear my prayers?

Do you see me quiver in fear of me not amounting to anything? 

Are you proud of me?

Why won’t you answer my calls for you? 
I want you to show me sign that you’re here,

I’ve been waiting for an answer, but even though I get no reply I’ll keep trying.
I saw you in my dream the other day, but you never altered a word,

Is that the sign I needed all along that you’re still around, but I may never know I’ve realized.
The rest of the world celebrate mothers and spend time with theirs, I’m left dealing with tears all I can do is think of the memories we had, 

I’m happy glad we created those memories, you were more than a mother to me and I’m happy you birth me.