Today makes it exactly 2 years that I’ve been anti-depressants, Man it hasn’t been easy because the side effects have been crazy but I’m elated that I started taking them but sadly I’m not right without them. I remember slashing myself with a blade about 3 years ago because I was so tired and wanted to end it all. I’m happy I met some amazing people who pushed to go get help and I must say ever since I started making my meds I’ve been feeling much better but mentally that process has been very difficult. There have been days I cried for about 6 hours and some days I’m so happy and filled with joy you’d think I was high. I remember telling some of my ‘friends &a family ‘that I was depressed and they’d try to convince me that it was all in my head, I almost believed but thanks to this lovely lady named Liz Sawyer, I forced myself to get help and boy I’m happy I did. I’m not close to where I want to be but I can say compared to this date 2 years ago I am much better, I am glad to be where I am right now and I can only hope I continue to make forward progress, it’s still a long ass road but I’m happy with where I am and extremely excited for what is ahead.
She’s the life of the party and the center of attention,
She’s a self-proclaimed goddess and God created Queen,
What a beautiful tall black woman, with lovely slim thick thighs, I could imagine them wrapped around mine.
I imagine those beautiful brown eyes piercing through my soul.
She withstood her heartbreak and physical pain from this scumbag called life and yet she stood strong. How can you not want a woman so brave because you have to admire how she’s moved on.
She has the features other women pay for, she’s so lusty, do you know the beautiful sensation you get when she wear heels and is slightly taller than you.
Do you know the euphoric sentiment you experience when you are talking the nastiest things to her while kissing and biting all from the top, down to those never ending legs?
She is a thing of beauty and I hope she realizes it.
I can’t be the only person who has this problem but one thing I know for sure is mine must be alot worse than others. I’m talking about the “Give Good Advice but Can’t Follow It Syndrome”. Like for example, I remember telling a friend “If you’re not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it’s probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it’s sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren’t connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on” but in previous relationships have had a very hard time doing this. You know its very easy to tell people to do this and that but when you put into perspective, its a lot harder for you to do the same thing probably because you don’t want to be in the same situation as that individual or probably because its extremely hard to put words into actions.
My problem with this is the fact that a lot of the advice I dish out what I believe is really good advice so why is it that I can’t follow them? It somewhat scares me because most of the time I find myself taking risk and making ridiculous mistakes which could have been avoided if only I heed my own advice. Another thing is that since I give out so much advice and see the mistakes my friends or people who come to ask me for this advice make, why is that I don’t take that has a warning sign or a sign not to run into the same trouble.
I wish I knew better is what I always end up saying but the truth is, I do know better and I could do better so why aren’t I? ……………………………………………………………To Be Continues\d