Today makes it exactly 2 years that I’ve been anti-depressants, Man it hasn’t been easy because the side effects have been crazy but I’m elated that I started taking them but sadly I’m not right without them. I remember slashing myself with a blade about 3 years ago because I was so tired and wanted to end it all. I’m happy I met some amazing people who pushed to go get help and I must say ever since I started making my meds I’ve been feeling much better but mentally that process has been very difficult. There have been days I cried for about 6 hours and some days I’m so happy and filled with joy you’d think I was high. I remember telling some of my ‘friends &a family ‘that I was depressed and they’d try to convince me that it was all in my head, I almost believed but thanks to this lovely lady named Liz Sawyer, I forced myself to get help and boy I’m happy I did. I’m not close to where I want to be but I can say compared to this date 2 years ago I am much better, I am glad to be where I am right now and I can only hope I continue to make forward progress, it’s still a long ass road but I’m happy with where I am and extremely excited for what is ahead.
She’s the life of the party and the center of attention,
She’s a self-proclaimed goddess and God created Queen,
What a beautiful tall black woman, with lovely slim thick thighs, I could imagine them wrapped around mine.
I imagine those beautiful brown eyes piercing through my soul.
She withstood her heartbreak and physical pain from this scumbag called life and yet she stood strong. How can you not want a woman so brave because you have to admire how she’s moved on.
She has the features other women pay for, she’s so lusty, do you know the beautiful sensation you get when she wear heels and is slightly taller than you.
Do you know the euphoric sentiment you experience when you are talking the nastiest things to her while kissing and biting all from the top, down to those never ending legs?
She is a thing of beauty and I hope she realizes it.
There’s this girl I’ve never met,It’s very hard to explain.
I don’t really even know her,
But I do think about her quite often.
I’ve never even heard her voice,
But it plays on my mind very often .
I’ve never even heard her laugh,
But I’ve know she has an healing smile.
I’ve never actually hugged her,
Or ran my fingers through her hair.
I’ve never gazed into her eyes,
Or watched her laying there,
But I know I think about her.
I wonder why,
I can only imagine what kind of impact that’s she’s had on me, evening without knowing.
We can barely have a conversation,
Because every time we talk it’s like we’re at war.
I guess I don’t Know her at all, so it makes sense
But I often think about her so it’s kind of confusing.
I am hopeful that one day, just one day,
I hope we can be amazing friends,
And I hope that our friendship,
Will never end.
I sit here quietly and watch the sun set, thinking of someone that I’ve never met.
I wonder does she think of me too, Its rather strange but I get constant thoughts of her.
I long to hold her and to put her smile on her face, I want to simply take away all her pain, to a better place is where I desire to take her,
She feels so right, almost to good to be true, She carries herself with so much plight, a sight to behold,
I just can’t stop thinking of you.
My head toys with me when I say I’m crushing on you because my heart is longing for a girl I’ve not met
I say there is nothing I can do, I cannot help thinking of you
I believe we were made to help heal each other , but wonder if that could possibly be.
I’m tired of being so alone and blue
But I always smile when thinking of you.
Do you actually like her? Or you like the way she makes your penis feel?
Do you actually care about her well-being or you only care about if she’s well with you?
Just waste her time and fill her with bogus stories, tell her what she wants to hear and fill her head with fake promises. Treat her like a princess but within your heart she’s just another one in a long line women will Serve under him.
Make her feel like she’s the only one, so whenever she does something wrong you play the victim and leave her with a heart filled with guilt and let her apologize.
After you’ve done this you get a sense you’re now in control and become a manipulative genius. You constantly mislead and make her feel you can’t do anything wrong, now that you have her heart make like she’s not good enough and will never be good for anyone else but you.
Her self-esteem is now low and she’s addicted to your lies and your bullshit and doesn’t realize you’re a no good, lying pathetic loser, but that’s perfectly fine because you’re already on to the next female doing the same exact routine but unfortunately, you met your match and she won’t fall your lies and your deceit, your games and manipulative ways. So you take your anger and frustration out of the princess who thinks you’re the best person ever; she’s angry and panicking, thinking what have I done wrong how can I please my ‘prince’, she runs to friends for help and while you run from bed to bed in search of something that is none existent.
Until one day you end it all. You let her know the truth, you apologize to her but it’s too late because you’ve created another broken woman, another angry woman, you’ve created another stereotypical angry black woman. You’ve helped this Queen loose her crown, but soon she’ll be back while you keep ruining more lives only failing to realize you’re ruining yours.
You are only making yourself into a damaged boy who will never get a basic understanding of an emotional connection or the joys of having someone who your Soul is tied to.