Thank You For Nothing

I have tried overcoming the heartache you brought on me,

I have tried to get my confidence back and also rebuild my self-esteem,

I’ve always seen my person as a great person but after meeting you and dealing with you I question if I am good enough,

I never understood why you were so terrible towards me or why nothing I did was ever good enough or why you would constantly complain about my actions.

Unlike most stories, this started in the worst of ways, you were for someone else, and somehow I was cool with being the guy on the side, eventually I fought to win you over and in a way I guess you magically became mine and it worked out to our favor and It all started as a fairytale.

I never for once thought you’d to me what you did to him, but isn’t Karma a bitch ; isn’t that how life works.

You fuck people over and get fucked over, but none of this occurred to me because I was in awe of your perfection,

You were everything I was looking for,

The perfect young lady to come in and ruin my life, but you walked right in and did just that.

You appeared to be the best thing that ever happened to me at first but slowly the true you was unveiled but I still ignored all of those signals, I’m sorry became just another word to ease our conversations and the ingenuity of you saying I love you was never to be questioned.

I think about the guy who just seemed to be randomly hanging on his couch but you apparently just saying hi at his place, but stupidly this was another signal I ignored.

I let us continue even after all the wrong, I let go of everyone else and in you, I put my all, I found myself making changes to suit you; just so you could be happy. I found myself doing everything just to make you mine but to no avail nothing I did was good enough for you and you could never appreciate anything I did.

I love how when you wanted to end this, you just started ignoring me and never was mature enough to give me a reason, but I thank you for that because now I know I deserve better than a cheat, and a liar . This guy is also glad you realized you wasted your time.

Due to our situation I’ve changed into someone, I am not,
I was always so warm but now I have become colder than ever, I was never an angry person but now with the mention of your name or just when I see you I am filled with rage .

I am so far from who I once was.
I am now weak and no longer bold,
I am angry, I am tired. I am a very emotionally exhausted.

You’ve played enough mind games
To make me feel no good. You played mind games just so you could have your way

Everyone saw a smile, But no one knew what was truly behind, you good at covering how deceitful and how much of a liar you are.
Pain, heartache, and despair is all now felt .

Maybe one day I’ll be able to escape, I hope I move on and find someone greater,

I hope I can start over somewhere new,

But I’ll never forget the impact you had on me.

Now because of you, I’ll forever believe love is chimerical .

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Wishing we never met..

Sitting here late at night,

Looking at this burning cigarette, as I think of everything I regret, starring at her face, wishing we never met,

What exactly have I done? Why did I ever get myself involved in the first place ? How did the manage to get this frozen heart to melt?

Now, I’m questioning myself like why didn’t you know better? Or if you’ve known better why didn’t you do better?

At this moment I can’t even trust myself or my own judgement, I can’t even trust my own words. I keep falling in out of trust and trying to rekindle lust in the name of love. I keep trying to burn a fire that was never lit. All this while I kept thinking I was the one who was unfit, I kept thinking maybe I was the one at fault not realizing you were just trying to pass time, you were just trying to heal your last hurt and I happened to be the most ready victim.

Hey, I hope you’re happy now. You’ve torn me into pieces and spit me out like I was worth nothing.

I hope you get what you deserve, I hope life doesn’t hit you as hard .

Poems are stupid, Not!!!!!!

Sometimes I wonder how I feel about you,
Scared of these feelings because it’s still new
I catch myself thinking of the best way to share,
Hoping you’ll return my confession showing you care
And then I catch myself again… and drag my thoughts back to reality
I am back at square one, does this just happen to me?

Poems are so stupid I swear I would never do this
But this is YOU, and you aren’t like anyone I have met
How much longer do I have to write, can I tell you yet?
When I come back from my thoughts I feel more secure
But then I sleep… and the dreams of you occur

The dreams I have of you are so vivid and clear,
Dreams of you fighting with me against all odds stacked against me,
Dreams of you working with me to build a better me, honestly I can say
I feel TRUE happiness inside and that there is nothing to fear
People say dreams have underlying meanings and not to ignore them
I say we both know what they mean and now I want you to hear.

Just hear what I am about to say to you, feel it with my body, see it in my face,
Hear it in my words and tone when we converse, lay on my chest and feel my heartbeat to tune of your voice.

NpZ Fotos

So I decided to take up photography as a hobby, so here are some of my favorite shots pf some of my favorite people and random things and people.

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BAKED GOOD

Those lips, those lips of yours command attention,                                                                                          But what comes out of them keeps the attention, your ability to linger proper dialogue,                    Your voice something about it reminds of a lark, but you don’t even sing.

Those hips, those hips are more figured than a cursive 8,                                                                             She has the power to calculate a mans intentions to divide and multiply by any means of sequence.                                                                                                                                                                    Because her breasts are filled with the curiosity to make a man think, think thoughts couldn’t be sung.

The only thing missing to this wonderful work of art is his hands wrapped around her and holding her in comfort.

The fiercest and most Feisty of them all, thank God for creating a beauty with such dominance with morals & high intelligent quotient
Pliable enough to put cracks and breakthrough any impalpable heart.

She’s A Slut, He’s The Man

Oh double standards, how lovely are you? I think just by title of this article you kind of get where I’m going with this. Any lock that can be unlocked by different keys is a bad lock right? But any Key that can unlock any lock is a master Key right? Now to you men that have this mentality imagine this was your fathers thought process when going into your mother. And to the women who are great locks and judge the bad locks like they’re any different or better.
Any man that can have sex with multiple women is hailed as a hero, he’s seen as the man but if a woman decides to do the same she’s labeled as a slut amongst many other things she’s called but you pathetic men that call them these names know you love them because that’s what you want. You want that woman you can call anytime and the sex will be accessible but yet you’re quick to call her every name in the book but you think you’re the cool guy because you can do that. I want every guy just like myself to think to ourselves; what makes it different that women can’t decide to have Casual sex if they want to? Like why would you as a ‘man’ choose to label or disrespect a woman based on her sexual decisions, honestly bro that makes you a coward man. If you don’t want her because she’s been with too many men then leave her the fuck alone and go find your Virgin Mary mother of Jesus or if you think she’s a slut because she hangs around too many then go find a Nun and try marrying because she’s been with women most of her life.

I want every man that calls women names just for doing the same things they do to imagine if someone called their daughters or mothers or sisters those names and how would they feel? Or imagine yourself being that woman for a second being called all those things, well I know some men still don’t care which is perfectly fine with me but next time you decide to call a Woman a slut for choosing to have sec with multiple partners just remember you’re a bigger slut and a lowlife.

Also, I want to place emphasis on the fact that no matter how old a woman is, or how she lives her life, or what she does for a living and also what she chooses to wear; she should still be respected because honestly if it wasn’t for women both the “sluts”(who make life more fun) and the “innocent” or “angelic” women our world would be shredded into pieces.

My point is no man has the power to slut shame a woman and no woman has the right to put the other down just because they choose to live their life differently. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck and keep your words to yourself.

Beautiful Black Woman

As I stared at her, I saw beautiful brown eyes that could heal the world,
As I stared at her, I saw a skin so pure it could absorb every sun ray,
As I stared at her, I saw hair so magical it defies every law of gravity,
May I Say Black Women are Enchanting & Alluring..

Thoughts, It’s been a while

Thoughts
Vacant memories roam in my head
I wished that one numb thought, that you were dead
I’ve forgotten how to smile, I’ll send letters for a while
I’ll tell myself each step, on how to avoid help
And live through this moment, however painful it may be
Live through this
And marry the moment
Where you held on to yourself, truly

I won’t say sorry for what I did
I won’t say sorry for the words I said
Give me the furthest farewell
I knew you’d beckon the introverted shell
Well, I won’t say sorry
Not now
Never again
I will never say sorry for being who I am

I heard someone long gone mutter
To thine own self be true, I had always wondered
While counting seconds to a hundred
If the line spoke of a character similar to
The one whom I hoped death would capture and hold
For you shall never break the mold
The one whose own thoughts swam away from
Oceans away from what’s to become (of you)

Brains Over Booty

Yes you got a fat ass but okay? Where is your brain at? What more do you have to offer? What else do you bring to the table? When the ass is gone what do you do? You go get refills or your life is just over?

I’ve never gotten the fascination with big butts, like don’t get me wrong its fun to stare at and it makes sex more fun but in the long run you get tired of it, well from my experience especially when they have nothing else to offer. Another thing I don’t understand is the women who believe their asses and body could get them through life, like don’t you realize looks fade away then after that what’s your back plan? What are you going to make of yourself? You do realize one that ass is gone all these fawning after you and willing to spend their wealth on you will disappear once that ass is gone.

Like I don’t understand this generation anymore what happened to the young black men and women who wanted to take over the world with their brains not bodies. Like Coretta was a beautiful woman but you never read about any stories of her sexualizing herself yet she had an impact on the world or yet in this day and age we have Oprah, so why is that women these days just want the easy way out? They want the fast money and easy money life style but they don’t realize the good money is the one you work hard for. It’s the one that helps you out in the long term, it’s the one that helps you out when your bones are weak and old age has taken effect.

People of this generation, especially the women, Please let us do better. Like a wise soul once said you educate a woman and you educate the world so please women of this generation understand that booty will bring you attention but brains will bring you power.

Apparently, I’m too emotional.

Matters of the heart are never easy, they’re never fun to discuss. Often times I find myself being unable to show case my emotions, due to the fact that once I express it, I’m labeled with some kind of name or I’m as seen as being too emotional and no guy likes to hear that. I remembered when I was younger, you were encouraged to express how you feel but this current generation: things just seem to be very different. No one wants to show their true emotions, everyone wants to have this tough guy or girl image and wants to be seen as someone who doesn’t give a f***.

For me after realizing how much better I’d feel after expressing my mind or my feelings about someone I decided I didn’t care about being seen as an “Emotional Bitch” as some of my friend’s labeled me.  After deciding to not be afraid to express my emotions I realized how happy it made, I realized it helped me get rid of my fear of rejection. Who says men can’t be emotional? Who said men shouldn’t be able to express how they feel? Like this is how some men get fucked over and become so emotionally distraught.

I recently expressed how I felt to someone who I had the biggest crush on and the way she rejected me was like the worst way ever, I got upset but you know what it made me feel a lot better because I know my mind was free. I got a sense of relief afterwards because I know now where she stands and I know where to move forward from. But, I still ponder like what made her not want anything with me or is that something is wrong with but I can’t really tell. I felt like we were connecting on the the deepest of levels but soon afterwards I could see her starting to pull back, I could tell her level of interest wasn’t as much as mine just because I expressed how I truly felt and what I wanted.

In other words, what I’m trying to say is never be afraid to express your true feelings, even though what you get back from it might not be what you want, just understand that Rejection is all part of the “game”. Life goes on.