Thank You For Nothing

I have tried overcoming the heartache you brought on me,

I have tried to get my confidence back and also rebuild my self-esteem,

I’ve always seen my person as a great person but after meeting you and dealing with you I question if I am good enough,

I never understood why you were so terrible towards me or why nothing I did was ever good enough or why you would constantly complain about my actions.

Unlike most stories, this started in the worst of ways, you were for someone else, and somehow I was cool with being the guy on the side, eventually I fought to win you over and in a way I guess you magically became mine and it worked out to our favor and It all started as a fairytale.

I never for once thought you’d to me what you did to him, but isn’t Karma a bitch ; isn’t that how life works.

You fuck people over and get fucked over, but none of this occurred to me because I was in awe of your perfection,

You were everything I was looking for,

The perfect young lady to come in and ruin my life, but you walked right in and did just that.

You appeared to be the best thing that ever happened to me at first but slowly the true you was unveiled but I still ignored all of those signals, I’m sorry became just another word to ease our conversations and the ingenuity of you saying I love you was never to be questioned.

I think about the guy who just seemed to be randomly hanging on his couch but you apparently just saying hi at his place, but stupidly this was another signal I ignored.

I let us continue even after all the wrong, I let go of everyone else and in you, I put my all, I found myself making changes to suit you; just so you could be happy. I found myself doing everything just to make you mine but to no avail nothing I did was good enough for you and you could never appreciate anything I did.

I love how when you wanted to end this, you just started ignoring me and never was mature enough to give me a reason, but I thank you for that because now I know I deserve better than a cheat, and a liar . This guy is also glad you realized you wasted your time.

Due to our situation I’ve changed into someone, I am not,
I was always so warm but now I have become colder than ever, I was never an angry person but now with the mention of your name or just when I see you I am filled with rage .

I am so far from who I once was.
I am now weak and no longer bold,
I am angry, I am tired. I am a very emotionally exhausted.

You’ve played enough mind games
To make me feel no good. You played mind games just so you could have your way

Everyone saw a smile, But no one knew what was truly behind, you good at covering how deceitful and how much of a liar you are.
Pain, heartache, and despair is all now felt .

Maybe one day I’ll be able to escape, I hope I move on and find someone greater,

I hope I can start over somewhere new,

But I’ll never forget the impact you had on me.

Now because of you, I’ll forever believe love is chimerical .

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She’s A Slut, He’s The Man

Oh double standards, how lovely are you? I think just by title of this article you kind of get where I’m going with this. Any lock that can be unlocked by different keys is a bad lock right? But any Key that can unlock any lock is a master Key right? Now to you men that have this mentality imagine this was your fathers thought process when going into your mother. And to the women who are great locks and judge the bad locks like they’re any different or better.
Any man that can have sex with multiple women is hailed as a hero, he’s seen as the man but if a woman decides to do the same she’s labeled as a slut amongst many other things she’s called but you pathetic men that call them these names know you love them because that’s what you want. You want that woman you can call anytime and the sex will be accessible but yet you’re quick to call her every name in the book but you think you’re the cool guy because you can do that. I want every guy just like myself to think to ourselves; what makes it different that women can’t decide to have Casual sex if they want to? Like why would you as a ‘man’ choose to label or disrespect a woman based on her sexual decisions, honestly bro that makes you a coward man. If you don’t want her because she’s been with too many men then leave her the fuck alone and go find your Virgin Mary mother of Jesus or if you think she’s a slut because she hangs around too many then go find a Nun and try marrying because she’s been with women most of her life.

I want every man that calls women names just for doing the same things they do to imagine if someone called their daughters or mothers or sisters those names and how would they feel? Or imagine yourself being that woman for a second being called all those things, well I know some men still don’t care which is perfectly fine with me but next time you decide to call a Woman a slut for choosing to have sec with multiple partners just remember you’re a bigger slut and a lowlife.

Also, I want to place emphasis on the fact that no matter how old a woman is, or how she lives her life, or what she does for a living and also what she chooses to wear; she should still be respected because honestly if it wasn’t for women both the “sluts”(who make life more fun) and the “innocent” or “angelic” women our world would be shredded into pieces.

My point is no man has the power to slut shame a woman and no woman has the right to put the other down just because they choose to live their life differently. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck and keep your words to yourself.

Women are strong

God bless the women who raised me, because I must have been a load of work to deal with and to all my ex’s and every woman I’ve ever been involved ya’ll are hella special. Let me start by saying, I don’t understand why women don’t get more recognition in our society but even though society doesn’t I will. Now I’m here to talk about how beautiful the woman body is but I want to talk about how beautiful the soul of woman is. Women are so special and so strong, its crazy how over time Women (especially women of color) I’ve managed to stay strong no matter what has come their way, you see as a man you really don’t endure have to do alot to show how strong you are but for women its very different at least that’s what ive noticed. So I want to say to every woman out there; especially to my Women of color that you are strong, that you are beautiful and that you are loved . Now, it’s not that I need to be telling you this because you already know that but this is a just a reminder.

I’ve been meeting way too many women with self esteem issues or suffering from lack of self love, or lack of acceptance. I just wanted to say to every woman out there ya’ll are strong as hell. Through your flaws and all you are loved and cherished, From the single mothers to woman, who’s been abused, to the woman who’s overweight, and those who are dealing with whatever. Women are strong as hell, Men are probably seen has the superiors but I’m sure any real man will if a woman wasn’t holding him down he won’t be anymore. From the mothers, to the sisters, wives, girlfriends, babymother’s and side chicks. #womenarestrongashell #womendeservemorerespect #iwasraisedby4women #womensmonthiseverymonth.

Just another misguided youth.

I envy you kids with responsible fathers, the kids with fathers who care, the kids whose fathers are actually there. They provide you with everything, now I don’t mean no food or clothing or shelter. I mean words of wisdom, words of comfort, I mean constantly showing support with everything you do. Man I don’t need no money from my father but I most definitely could use his presence, I know I lack guidance which has led to me so much ruin, I wish he would just call me sometime and talk to me about life but I only have those talks with a couple of misguided young men like myself. I say misguided because we all got the same father issues, our fathers were more off Sperm-Donors than actual parents, its like these dudes never wanted us so why did you help conceive us? My mother was everything and more for me but its been almost 2years since she’s been gone and ever since then my life has been in shambles. I thought after she passed maybe her sperm donor will step up but just like every other deadbeat this man ain’t do nothing. I’m not going to bash him because I see some of myself in him but this is just a reminder to myself that I have to be a better man and father than he ever was and is.

Dad, I’m Sorry !!!

Dear Father,
I’m sorry I disappointed you
I’m sorry I made you so mad
I’m sorry I wasn’t a great son
I’m sorry you were a horrible dad
I’m sorry I let you break me
I’m sorry I walked away
I’m sorry I couldn’t take it
I’m sorry is all that I can say
I’m sorry you where always to busy
I’m sorry I pushed you out of my life
I’m sorry I wasn’t important as your new ex wife and her kids
I’m sorry you always made up lies
I’m sorry I hated you
I’m sorry you never cared
I’m sorry I cut your name in my wrist
I’m sorry I acted like I wasn’t pissed
I’m sorry I wasn’t your favorite kid
I’m sorry for all of this
I’m sorry I’m acting just like you
I’m sorry for all the things you put me through
I’m sorry I went to the hospital
I’m sorry you came to see me and I told you leave
I’m sorry I said you meant something when you didn’t
I’m sorry I was a fool
I’m sorry that my blood wasn’t enough to show you
I’m sorry that I tried so hard to be enough for you
I’m sorry I wasn’t perfect
I’m sorry I told you that you never where there
I’m sorry that your gone
I’m sorry that I spent my time to hold on
To a lost cause, because I knew you where never there
I’m sorry that this pain was to much for me to bear
I’m sorry I’m dead inside and you’ll never see
I’m sorry that all the things you put me through did this to me
Love your son, Yemi

So Many Questions, Not So Many Answers

Love. Is that what I crave?

If it is, then why can’t I find it?

Hate. Does that mean anger?

If it does, then why do I feel hollow?

Pain. Does that mean suffering?

If it does, then why does it feel comforting?

Stress. Does that mean constant worrying?

If it does, why does my mind feel so peaceful?

Memories. Are they not images of the past?

If they are, why is there only shadows?

Smiles. Does that mean happiness?

If it does, then why does it hurt?

Life. What does it mean?

Should it mean any of these things?

If it doesn’t, then why are they there?

R.I.P to my unborn child

It happened several times before, so why is she refusing to give more, who cares anyway because after several words he finally convinced her, convinced her to let him undress her while he slowly bites her neck, work his way down to her breast ( breast so huge they were sometimes hard to handle), slowly go down in between her legs while moans then she stopped for a second and asked where was the rubber, he gave it to her and she orally placed it on his _____.
Then he turned her back around and put her in his favorite position and he put his ____ in between her legs and she screamed, the screaming became moaning, moaning to trash talk and in between the trash talk she said what if I told you I was pregnant and laughed with disbelief, he kept going but then again she says what if I was pregnant, ‘his answers were we gonna get rid of  it’ and she yelled pull out and he did so. Silence was in the room she kept quiet to herself while he scratched his head, out of no where she breaks her silence and said ” I should have known you wasn’t shit  like remember when you said you wasn’t going to be like your father, well now you that nigga”. With frustration and anger in his voice and with resentment in his tone he said “you a hoe anyways so lets get rid of this kid”.
Tears and tears rolled down her eyes, curse words in every language she knew, she finally calm down and said “yeah ima get an abortion” but you gonna come with me and pay for this shit too”. Well he never went with her and he only gave her half the money so now they’ve become enemies and months past by with no communication but deep inside of him he wished her never did that, he wishes he never got rid of that child that could have changed his life and make everything alright.
Too late now he said to himself, now I killed someone he thought to himself, if only I could have been older and wiser he thought to himself. I had a chance to bring life into this world and I fucked it up.