You’re missed!!

One of them is to just say that I am lost without your presence
Because every day goes by in a blur
As if life’s been covered by a thick frost
The other way to show you the state of my heart
Is to say that I feel like man who can’t dream
Memories and thoughts seem to just fly past

Even my soul is lifeless, without its gleam
In this hazy state, I have been
Since the day I let you walk away
I know I treated you in a way I shouldn’t have
I was wrong, I confess today that
I miss you

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Thank You For Nothing

I have tried overcoming the heartache you brought on me,

I have tried to get my confidence back and also rebuild my self-esteem,

I’ve always seen my person as a great person but after meeting you and dealing with you I question if I am good enough,

I never understood why you were so terrible towards me or why nothing I did was ever good enough or why you would constantly complain about my actions.

Unlike most stories, this started in the worst of ways, you were for someone else, and somehow I was cool with being the guy on the side, eventually I fought to win you over and in a way I guess you magically became mine and it worked out to our favor and It all started as a fairytale.

I never for once thought you’d to me what you did to him, but isn’t Karma a bitch ; isn’t that how life works.

You fuck people over and get fucked over, but none of this occurred to me because I was in awe of your perfection,

You were everything I was looking for,

The perfect young lady to come in and ruin my life, but you walked right in and did just that.

You appeared to be the best thing that ever happened to me at first but slowly the true you was unveiled but I still ignored all of those signals, I’m sorry became just another word to ease our conversations and the ingenuity of you saying I love you was never to be questioned.

I think about the guy who just seemed to be randomly hanging on his couch but you apparently just saying hi at his place, but stupidly this was another signal I ignored.

I let us continue even after all the wrong, I let go of everyone else and in you, I put my all, I found myself making changes to suit you; just so you could be happy. I found myself doing everything just to make you mine but to no avail nothing I did was good enough for you and you could never appreciate anything I did.

I love how when you wanted to end this, you just started ignoring me and never was mature enough to give me a reason, but I thank you for that because now I know I deserve better than a cheat, and a liar . This guy is also glad you realized you wasted your time.

Due to our situation I’ve changed into someone, I am not,
I was always so warm but now I have become colder than ever, I was never an angry person but now with the mention of your name or just when I see you I am filled with rage .

I am so far from who I once was.
I am now weak and no longer bold,
I am angry, I am tired. I am a very emotionally exhausted.

You’ve played enough mind games
To make me feel no good. You played mind games just so you could have your way

Everyone saw a smile, But no one knew what was truly behind, you good at covering how deceitful and how much of a liar you are.
Pain, heartache, and despair is all now felt .

Maybe one day I’ll be able to escape, I hope I move on and find someone greater,

I hope I can start over somewhere new,

But I’ll never forget the impact you had on me.

Now because of you, I’ll forever believe love is chimerical .

Her. 

I see curves everywhere. Curves on a tidal wave, Curves in every soda bottle and the crescent moon, and most especially in every woman’s waist.

But the one curve I need is yours the villainous feline with seductive curves that tantalize crazy thoughts of my dark side.
I think about that day seeing you in all black, ( long sleeve black shirt, with jeans hugging every curve and thigh black boots to complete your simple yet elegant look ) and how it seemed like you were hiding in the crowd but your beauty was way too formidable that even in the midst of hundreds you managed to stand out so effortlessly and how you left me fawning , I couldn’t let you go by without saying nothing. I discovered your wittiness and humorous combative punchline lines, I couldn’t help but imagine how it felt to be around you all the time, how I wished you were next to me as I penned down these thoughts. I want to help you figure out your passion and I’ll do by making sure I arouse your soul and make sweet love to your mind while we next to each other into slumber.
I want to show you how a woman is truthfully meant to be loved, I want you to know that you are worth and more and you don’t need anyone’s validity. I want to embrace all of that beautiful-chocolate and be the happiest with that old soul of yours.

To be continued

Happiness at last? So it may seem,

I can see myself smiling all over again,

I can see my heart beating regularly again,

Am I finally finding what I’ve been searching for many years now?

This day might just be a miracle in the making.

 

I woke up feeling rejuvenated,

I woke up with motivation to do everything and anything,

So I hop out of bed, and make breakfast, take a shower and set out for the day.

I can’t deny that even though, I feel very energized something at the back of my head was just waiting for everything to go wrong.

 

I tried so enjoy to hard to enjoy the moment, but my head kept feeling up with various thoughts of torment, unfortunately being sad had become my natural element,

It’s become so natural that whenever I experience something good from other people I question why they’ve given me such treatment.

It can never be

I see you pass by And though I know 

It can never be 

My heart leaps. 
You talk to me 

And though I know 

You mean nothing 

My lips move, returning caressing words. 
My own selfish desire 

Is to hold you 

Until the world  

Comes to an end… 
But 
I see him 

Holding you 

Caressing with more than words. 
I see you 

Loving him. 
And though all I want 

Is your happiness 

My heart drops.

NpZ Fotos

So I decided to take up photography as a hobby, so here are some of my favorite shots pf some of my favorite people and random things and people.

IMG_0009

Dedicated To Her

My Dear Queen,

I started writing this at 4:28 and you should know why, I’m supposed to also be sleeping but your presence is all I can think about.

I know everything you might read here you’ve probably heard before but I just had to put my thoughts into words, you know I’m a better writer than speaker even though I talk alot.

I hope these few words can do justice on how I feel about you, but I don’t think they’d be enough. You came out of nowhere, at a moment I had lost all hope, you came at a moment when I felt like I was meant to be miserable all by myself and lost in my own thoughts but you came and turned all of that around. You came in and showed me that I could have a partner in crime, you came and showed me I didn’t have to be miserable and you came into my life and became my lighthouse.

With you, I have learnt that I could be myself and not have to bend my back with compromise because your approach to everything makes us find a common ground always. You’ve accepted my flaws and weirdness, I’ve accepted yours and its become a Beautiful Imperfection. In you I have it all; a best friend, a lover, and a shoulder to lean on. I never thought I’d be here this time a month ago but here I am.

Now, I hope that I can make you be yourself without any questions. I hope that I can make you understand that no matter what you feel, I will be there for you and that your feelings are always validated and that you are never ignored.  I never thought you’d want or any part of me, I remember you had to force to go on a date with me and now look at where we are. I hope that at the end of everything I make this worth your while.

Man, I’m hella happy and you make life so easy to live. So lets bask in this moment and I hope it would forever go on.

Women are strong

God bless the women who raised me, because I must have been a load of work to deal with and to all my ex’s and every woman I’ve ever been involved ya’ll are hella special. Let me start by saying, I don’t understand why women don’t get more recognition in our society but even though society doesn’t I will. Now I’m here to talk about how beautiful the woman body is but I want to talk about how beautiful the soul of woman is. Women are so special and so strong, its crazy how over time Women (especially women of color) I’ve managed to stay strong no matter what has come their way, you see as a man you really don’t endure have to do alot to show how strong you are but for women its very different at least that’s what ive noticed. So I want to say to every woman out there; especially to my Women of color that you are strong, that you are beautiful and that you are loved . Now, it’s not that I need to be telling you this because you already know that but this is a just a reminder.

I’ve been meeting way too many women with self esteem issues or suffering from lack of self love, or lack of acceptance. I just wanted to say to every woman out there ya’ll are strong as hell. Through your flaws and all you are loved and cherished, From the single mothers to woman, who’s been abused, to the woman who’s overweight, and those who are dealing with whatever. Women are strong as hell, Men are probably seen has the superiors but I’m sure any real man will if a woman wasn’t holding him down he won’t be anymore. From the mothers, to the sisters, wives, girlfriends, babymother’s and side chicks. #womenarestrongashell #womendeservemorerespect #iwasraisedby4women #womensmonthiseverymonth.

My Heart is All I Have To Give

For this Valentines day,
I don’t have much money,
No jewelry, or a car, or a big house,
What I instead decided to give you is something priceless,
It’s something every girl wants,
No girl seems to find,
Money can’t buy,
What some people call the meaning of life,
And what others say only God himself can award you.
What is this priceless treasure?
It’s something I can’t give any other girl in the world,
Something you cannot return,
And the only treasure you will have after you die.
When you see God at the gates to Heaven,
He will ask if you have found true love?
You will say no I didn’t,
It is then he will look at you strange,
You will ask what’s wrong and he will say,
If you didn’t find true love,
Then why do you have two hearts?
At this time you will remember,
That it was me who gave you,
My heart forever…