Thank You For Nothing

I have tried overcoming the heartache you brought on me,

I have tried to get my confidence back and also rebuild my self-esteem,

I’ve always seen my person as a great person but after meeting you and dealing with you I question if I am good enough,

I never understood why you were so terrible towards me or why nothing I did was ever good enough or why you would constantly complain about my actions.

Unlike most stories, this started in the worst of ways, you were for someone else, and somehow I was cool with being the guy on the side, eventually I fought to win you over and in a way I guess you magically became mine and it worked out to our favor and It all started as a fairytale.

I never for once thought you’d to me what you did to him, but isn’t Karma a bitch ; isn’t that how life works.

You fuck people over and get fucked over, but none of this occurred to me because I was in awe of your perfection,

You were everything I was looking for,

The perfect young lady to come in and ruin my life, but you walked right in and did just that.

You appeared to be the best thing that ever happened to me at first but slowly the true you was unveiled but I still ignored all of those signals, I’m sorry became just another word to ease our conversations and the ingenuity of you saying I love you was never to be questioned.

I think about the guy who just seemed to be randomly hanging on his couch but you apparently just saying hi at his place, but stupidly this was another signal I ignored.

I let us continue even after all the wrong, I let go of everyone else and in you, I put my all, I found myself making changes to suit you; just so you could be happy. I found myself doing everything just to make you mine but to no avail nothing I did was good enough for you and you could never appreciate anything I did.

I love how when you wanted to end this, you just started ignoring me and never was mature enough to give me a reason, but I thank you for that because now I know I deserve better than a cheat, and a liar . This guy is also glad you realized you wasted your time.

Due to our situation I’ve changed into someone, I am not,
I was always so warm but now I have become colder than ever, I was never an angry person but now with the mention of your name or just when I see you I am filled with rage .

I am so far from who I once was.
I am now weak and no longer bold,
I am angry, I am tired. I am a very emotionally exhausted.

You’ve played enough mind games
To make me feel no good. You played mind games just so you could have your way

Everyone saw a smile, But no one knew what was truly behind, you good at covering how deceitful and how much of a liar you are.
Pain, heartache, and despair is all now felt .

Maybe one day I’ll be able to escape, I hope I move on and find someone greater,

I hope I can start over somewhere new,

But I’ll never forget the impact you had on me.

Now because of you, I’ll forever believe love is chimerical .

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Poems are stupid, Not!!!!!!

Sometimes I wonder how I feel about you,
Scared of these feelings because it’s still new
I catch myself thinking of the best way to share,
Hoping you’ll return my confession showing you care
And then I catch myself again… and drag my thoughts back to reality
I am back at square one, does this just happen to me?

Poems are so stupid I swear I would never do this
But this is YOU, and you aren’t like anyone I have met
How much longer do I have to write, can I tell you yet?
When I come back from my thoughts I feel more secure
But then I sleep… and the dreams of you occur

The dreams I have of you are so vivid and clear,
Dreams of you fighting with me against all odds stacked against me,
Dreams of you working with me to build a better me, honestly I can say
I feel TRUE happiness inside and that there is nothing to fear
People say dreams have underlying meanings and not to ignore them
I say we both know what they mean and now I want you to hear.

Just hear what I am about to say to you, feel it with my body, see it in my face,
Hear it in my words and tone when we converse, lay on my chest and feel my heartbeat to tune of your voice.

Another Sappy Poem

I know you want your space and you do not want anything to do with me but I have never been this clueless.

Not even when I failed again and again
I can’t pinpoint exactly how I feel
It’s not happiness, it is not pain
I guess it is just your absence
Which is making itself known
Maybe this weird state of emptiness
Is my heart’s moan
But I don’t know what to do
I was hoping you have a solution
For my hollow heart and lost soul
I miss you

Dedicated To Her

My Dear Queen,

I started writing this at 4:28 and you should know why, I’m supposed to also be sleeping but your presence is all I can think about.

I know everything you might read here you’ve probably heard before but I just had to put my thoughts into words, you know I’m a better writer than speaker even though I talk alot.

I hope these few words can do justice on how I feel about you, but I don’t think they’d be enough. You came out of nowhere, at a moment I had lost all hope, you came at a moment when I felt like I was meant to be miserable all by myself and lost in my own thoughts but you came and turned all of that around. You came in and showed me that I could have a partner in crime, you came and showed me I didn’t have to be miserable and you came into my life and became my lighthouse.

With you, I have learnt that I could be myself and not have to bend my back with compromise because your approach to everything makes us find a common ground always. You’ve accepted my flaws and weirdness, I’ve accepted yours and its become a Beautiful Imperfection. In you I have it all; a best friend, a lover, and a shoulder to lean on. I never thought I’d be here this time a month ago but here I am.

Now, I hope that I can make you be yourself without any questions. I hope that I can make you understand that no matter what you feel, I will be there for you and that your feelings are always validated and that you are never ignored.  I never thought you’d want or any part of me, I remember you had to force to go on a date with me and now look at where we are. I hope that at the end of everything I make this worth your while.

Man, I’m hella happy and you make life so easy to live. So lets bask in this moment and I hope it would forever go on.

Apparently, I’m too emotional.

Matters of the heart are never easy, they’re never fun to discuss. Often times I find myself being unable to show case my emotions, due to the fact that once I express it, I’m labeled with some kind of name or I’m as seen as being too emotional and no guy likes to hear that. I remembered when I was younger, you were encouraged to express how you feel but this current generation: things just seem to be very different. No one wants to show their true emotions, everyone wants to have this tough guy or girl image and wants to be seen as someone who doesn’t give a f***.

For me after realizing how much better I’d feel after expressing my mind or my feelings about someone I decided I didn’t care about being seen as an “Emotional Bitch” as some of my friend’s labeled me.  After deciding to not be afraid to express my emotions I realized how happy it made, I realized it helped me get rid of my fear of rejection. Who says men can’t be emotional? Who said men shouldn’t be able to express how they feel? Like this is how some men get fucked over and become so emotionally distraught.

I recently expressed how I felt to someone who I had the biggest crush on and the way she rejected me was like the worst way ever, I got upset but you know what it made me feel a lot better because I know my mind was free. I got a sense of relief afterwards because I know now where she stands and I know where to move forward from. But, I still ponder like what made her not want anything with me or is that something is wrong with but I can’t really tell. I felt like we were connecting on the the deepest of levels but soon afterwards I could see her starting to pull back, I could tell her level of interest wasn’t as much as mine just because I expressed how I truly felt and what I wanted.

In other words, what I’m trying to say is never be afraid to express your true feelings, even though what you get back from it might not be what you want, just understand that Rejection is all part of the “game”. Life goes on.

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way

We are always so obsessed with everything going so nice and smoothly and things going perfectly, but we should have learned, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Not every move you make can be calculated, sometimes it’s all about taking risks especially with dating.

We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it’s got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way

 

Besides me is were you belong.

Lying in a meadow,
Hiding in the grass.
Staring at the stars,
But a thought distracts me.
All I think about is you, and
The way you make me feel.

I love the way you smile,
I love the way you laugh,
I love the way your eyes glitter,
When you are standing in the light.

I love the way you we talk for hours,
I love the way you listen.
I love the way we stay on the phone for hours,
But say nothing at all.

I love the way you stand up for me,
I love the way you tease me.
I love the way you say hello,
Every morning I walk in.
Most of all I love the way you stay by me,
No matter where I am.

So next time when I am lying in a meadow,
And I’m hiding in the grass.
When I’m staring at the stars,
You will be besides me…

Yemi Osibogun
www.nappyzeus.com

Women are crazy, Men are stupid

Men never  ever want to be sensitive. Men don’t want to cry. We don’t want to feel weak. Check that. We don’t want to actually be weak. Weak men aren’t respected by other men and weak men aren’t respected by women, either. You see a lot of women talk about how they want a sensitive and honest man but when they get man they complain about it. But who cares let me go on ramble about one of my biggest fears…

You know what scares me?, its the fact that people could be together for 20 or even 30 years and awaken to discover they don’t love each other anymore, or they never really loved each other but the other one just stuck it out because he or she felt pity for their spouse. Now this is what scares me. You’d wonder why does this scare me, well it scares me because I don’t want to end up and I don’t think anyone of us ever wants to be alone but its looking a possibility for many people. I recently read a couple of stories about some women who got married to themselves after waiting for Mr Right that never came and ever since then I’ve been thinking about this whole Love thing and this whole Monogamy thing. Like, is their really someone out there for everybody and are some people just brought to the world to be Lone-wolf’s.

During a conversation with a friend, she told me about how I shouldn’t be afraid of being alone that it could sometimes be a good thing but I thought how cold me just being by myself be something good? How could me just getting to know myself more be something good but I repeated that question over again and I realized that it would actually be a great thing, I decided to reduce my drinking ways and various stupid decisions. I realize now more than ever I have to get myself together and figure out what I want, no more taking stupid risks and no more getting people involved in it. I want every man to know that we all need to go through this phase, we all need to figure out what we want before we bring someone else along the ride with us.

There’s many confused men out here and they end up screwing over good women, and then we men end up crying about crazy women. When the truth is Women are crazy, Men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is because men are stupid. So please men everywhere get yourselves together before you go find a woman and make her crazy and ruin her for the man who she was meant to be with.

We all want the right wrong person

I cant be the only one who’s tired of the crappy relationship memes and women who constantly bash men on social media but yet will end up laying with one. If we are that terrible then become lesbian. (Just Kidding).My point is women need to understand that We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different types of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

So just be patient and trust me at the right time, the right person will come your way. Also realize that what we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else

 

I Could Only Hope

I think about you

In the morning

Hoping that you

Find me charming

I think about you

In the afternoon

Hoping that I

Can meet you soon

I think about you

In the evening

Hoping that I

Can see you smiling

I think about you

In the middle of the night

Hoping that you

Understand my plight

I just can’t stop

Thinking about you

I just hope one day

You end up liking me too